Ten Horrible Uses of my Time

I made a promise to a friend that I would post about my ten favourite television shows of all time. This really has become a top ten favourite television shows of today, because I have a far more vested interest in television now than I ever did in my youth.

I'll start with some of my unfortunate near misses.

In my youth, I was a huge fan of Teddy Ruxpin, great show. I also loved Darkwing Duck, and ReBoot.

As the years passed I moved into some bigger and better things. Namely, Sliders, and Psi Factor.

Finally, High School came along, and I pretty much tuned out from TV altogether, however I rarely missed an episode of Prison Break, 24, or even the oft-maligned teen serial, The OC.

In all honesty, however, none of these shows come close to my top ten, because, let's face it, before University I rarely watched any HBO or showcase, the two greatest cable channels in the history of cable.

Let's get to it.

10. Flight of the Conchords.

A fabulous show that somehow contains more awkward silences than my own life. I may have laughed harder at 'I'm not crying' than I have at anything else, ever.

9. Heroes.

After a first season that was tantamount to a thousand nuns first experiencing orgasms, the sophomoric debut was middling, at best. However there are few shows that are as cinematic and thrilling from week to week as Tom Kring's science fiction thriller.

8. Curb Your Enthusiasm.

This show... it's pretty, pretty, prettay good. Larry David is a master at poking fun at his own perilously perturbed personality. There are no other shows out there than can even approach the mastery of the uncomfortable humor like Curb.

7. Weeds.

There's a reason that I've got a Weeds poster on my wall, and it's not Heylia James. This hellishly funny sitcom based in what could be any suburban paradise captures perfectly a mother with pure unadulterated wit and frustration. As a bonus for Daniel Ehman, you get to see Lex Steele's flaccid penis.

6. Real World/Road Rules Challenges.

I do not understand how this show is so wildly under appreciated. It contains some of the best athletes/partiers in the world jockeying for position in a dizzying competition, competition, hook-up, drama sequence every single week. There are no reality shows that come close to this, and few scripted shows that can compare.

5. Entourage.

I think that Mark Whalberg would consider it a serious VICTORY! for his self-inspired show about the trials and tribulations of celebrity to be rated this highly on a very competitive list. HBO strikes again with some fabulous characters and a show about a lifestyle we all desperately wished we had. Bonus points for shouting out to Nova Scotia.

4. Lost.

I am actually a little surprised at my own rating here. JJ Abrams has put together one heck of a twisting masterpiece with this modern day lord of the flies. Every single week I wait in anticipation just to get one more tiny piece of the puzzle. This show is king among cliffhangers, and ropes you in for an hour to learn 2 minutes of new information.

3. The Shield.

If it weren't for a certain #1 ranked show, this gritty crime drama would be tops on this list. However, because of it's unfavourable comparisons to the best show in the history of shows, it must stay down here. Scenes as sad as the one where Shane kills Lem are few and far between. Bonus- CCH Pounder is the coolest name ever.

2. Dexter.

Darkly Dreaming Dexter is the basis for one of the greatest bandwagon shows in history. I have never seen a show that kept an entire continent with such bated breath. Michael C. Hall plays easily the most likable serial killer since Ted Bundy. Too soon?

1. The Wire.

It's not even close. I have never felt more connected to a show in my life. David Simon has created his own Greek Tragedy, and he's done it incredibly well. The list of characters I love is phenomenally long. From the obvious police, right down to the street level corner boys, the west-side kingpins, down to the harsh longshoremen. I actually believe there is nothing I love more than this show.